There are a few things I've been aware of over the past few weeks that I want to share with others because of the benefits I'm seeing in my life. Limiting beliefs are a very common obstacle to our development and not always easy to face. Fortunately there is inspiration all around, especially once we acknowledge that something needs to change.
Why Pretending hurts
Usually we face a problem because it brings suffering to us somehow. Maybe we have buried our limiting beliefs through the need to survive. Both men and women do this because we all live in a world which can be dangerous, we are all given more than we can handle and we all feel pressured to put on a brave front or a smile - when it's definitely not how we feel inside.
So many people have developed beliefs about themselves when they were young which are completely untrue. Maybe the belief developed because we were vulnerable and someone or even the education system taught us not to believe in ourselves as much as we should.
Building Motivation begins with reflection
I like Mark Manson's very honest and thorough overview of limiting beliefs and how they develop into making decisions based on fear rather than courage. Reflecting on our limiting beliefs allows us to see how they have held us back. No matter how long they have remained embedded we can now choose weed them out and replace them with healthier, stronger beliefs regarding ourselves and the world we build for our future.
The scars or limiting beliefs can exist and become embedded because the message we received was repeated, like being told we aren't as smart as we need to be or as good looking as we need to be or as outgoing as we need to be - or too outgoing or too smart or too good looking.
No-one escapes being judged because judgement has a long standing relationship with the structures of society - but do we continue to accept these judgements?
Louise Hay wrote "If you accept a limiting belief then it will become a truth for you"
Unfortunately some people who hold limiting beliefs about themselves are guilty of undervaluing or trying to destroy any belief that others have in themselves too. A person who has a lack of belief in themselves can spot it in others and may look to hold power over them somehow.
They hope to correct their own lack of belief by dominating others - but no matter how many people they dominate they will never feel better.
We learn Fear
Fear becomes a prevailing force in our thinking once we accept negativity.
Everywhere we go we are fearing judgement or modifying our behaviour to 'fit in'. It's quite likely that two teenagers could be chatting, one trying too hard to be cool because she fears being judged for being too smart and the other one wishing she was smarter because she was taught she wasn't smart enough.
If we receive negative attention or don't feel accepted for who we truly are we are then stuck with the fact that we are social beings who need to be loved. We try to change something about ourselves so that we fit in but as a result we reject a beautiful part of ourselves. This can result in shame or other negative emotions - which over time manifest just an illness does.
We don't always expose our limiting beliefs because our mind comes up with strategies designed to hide them. The ironic thing is that when we were born we had everything we would ever need to build the exact life we dream of now. It's the negative beliefs which develop into doubts that stop us from creating the life we dream of.
How our beliefs about ourselves shape our experience
I'll be honest, I wasn't aware of just how dark my inner beliefs were because I was trying so hard to survive. We won't go into why but 'the world is a dark place' and 'i am so ashamed of who I am' as well as 'I can't trust anyone' would be some of them.
Whatever our inner beliefs are they will dictate pretty much every experience we have because this is the lens we see the world through.
Even if our limiting beliefs aren't quite so negative, an experience or an interaction with someone close to us may have caused us to doubt our potential or block our inner joy early on. The hard thing is that most people around us have limiting beliefs and so we perhaps accept a lack of belief in ourselves as a norm.
This is why people living in alignment with who they truly are and what they have to offer is quite rare - I wish it wasn't.
The law of attraction springs to mind here because it's now being proven that we attract the things we most believe to be true. So even if the world is not a 'dark place' or it's not true that we don't have what it takes to dream big we will continue to perceive that this is true if the root of the problem is not addressed - the way we were conditioned which created the belief in the first place.
Taking back control of how you perceive yourself
I took a step back after acknowledging my limiting beliefs and reflected upon the many wonderful things and people in the world I have encountered. My new belief might be 'the world is a beautiful place but there are some dangers' and this is a more realistic belief to replace the old belief with.
We must first find the courage to really tune into our younger years and try to see which experiences shaped our belief system - then we can change them if we have to.
You might reflect on your life with your god given intellect and see all the ways that you are not only smart enough but you are smarter than most in your own way. You might reflect on those who shaped your inner beliefs and realise that people who criticise others or deem them inadequate have no right to do that.
You can let go of opinions and judgements, even if it is family or an education system or a social situation.
Repeating the new, more positive beliefs we develop about ourselves and the world around us raises our vibration and opens us up to attract the right opportunities and experiences.
Coping with the Anxiety of Transformation
Anxiety will always become an issue for those of us who feel trapped by limiting beliefs. We can feel incredibly hindered within ourselves and feel unable to rely on the universe to support our dreams. It's important to remember that God or the universe is more powerful than the negative thoughts that circulate and that building dreams can become a focus within our hearts and lives.
I'm actually doing a dream building course with Mary Morrisey who is an expert in her understanding of how our dreams become our reality. It's not all wishful thinking with no results, her program is science based and precise in terms of why concrete dreams that come from the heart can become a reality if we know how. She has spoken at the UN, with the Dalai Lama and has an incredible wealth of experience and success with individuals from all walks of life.
Get to know the Believers
Mary Morrisey also has many best selling books. I plan to read her book Brave Thinking and there are others which would also be worth investing in. Her courses can be found on the Mary Morrisey website.
For me this new shift in perspective has been quite scary, as all transformations can be.
We become attached to feeling stuck in life and breaking free means we will have to let go of our old or current impression of ourselves, how we see the world and what we currently think we are capable of. Relaxation is vital for dreams to take place and some of us need help with how to relax too.
Using our own system of support
Our own bodies are equipped with a facility which, when healthy, automatically counteracts the fight or flight response. This facility is our parasympathetic nervous system which calms us down, maybe helps us cry or release tension and ultimately makes us feel good again.
Deep breathing, self care activities, exercise and creativity strengthen this inbuilt mechanism as does time in nature and anything else we love.
Our Vagus nerve is the foundation of our parasympathetic nervous system and it's important that this nerve is healthy. Trauma survivors will have a Vagus nerve which has experienced too much stress and doesn't engage as well as it should. Changing this situation naturally is actually very enjoyable and I'll delve into a couple of practices I've had results with.
Have fun with the Vagus Nerve
Singing or humming for example strengthens the vagus nerve because it is connected to our vocal chords. When I need to release tension I have tried humming for long periods of time and I definitely feel relief. I am also one of Scotland's worst singers and would likely disturb myself and others more if I chose that method!
You can read about the Vagus nerve in this Forbes article for a more in depth description of its function and why it is a great nerve to stimulate whenever we feel stressed. If you want to transform fear into courage then get to know your Vagus nerve.
Another proven method for stimulating the Vagus Nerve is a stomach massage. I was so surprised by how quickly I went from a place of tension and fear to being relaxed and calm. This great article by Chopra offers a lot of guidance on understanding the Vagas nerve and directions for a beneficial stomach massage.
Or check out a YouTube video for a more visual demonstration of the perfect vagus nerve therapy you can offer yourself.
Do you meditate yet?
Meditation is also well known for delivering feelings of relaxation and confidence. Follow any meditation audio you like and trust that the more relaxed you are the greater power you give to your dreams and potential. I love the meditation courses by Thomas Mack as well as the vast collection available on Insight Timer.
Why I changed my mind about Hypnosis
I was never a fan of hypnosis or the idea of hypnosis because I feared losing even more control over my life, body and mind. However having tried a course on Clear Minds Hypnotherapy I now value and understand the key reason hypnosis proves effective. Relaxation hypnosis seems to counteract the tendency we all have to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves and gives us relief from stressful thought patterns or habits.
You CAN create the life you dare to dream about
Dreaming is absolutely vital and giving ourselves the resources we need to unlock our innate ability to dream is totally worthwhile. Love, inspiration and ideas are more powerful than we know when we throw in some additional faith and courage. Doubts and fears are present, yes but letting them exist doesn't mean we have to allow them to control us too, does it!?
None of the links I offer here are affiliate links. Most of these resources don't have an affiliate program and it's never been my motivation to write. I simply hope the article has offered you some support.
I am a writer with a desire to reach people and have a positive impact on individual lives. If you are one of those people then thank you!
Annie 🙏❤️😊
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